my wife doesn't care when i'm sick

I don't believe the behavior is intentional in my case. There is no reason under the son a man or woman should be second to anyone when it comes to survival in health, shelter or love period. Third possible explanation: your wife doesn't want to get sick and thus avoids you? Sign #8: He is fine with you hanging around other men. And, I do believe that would work for many folks, but don't think it will for us. And I also have to include.I have a very low toleranceto this kind of behavior!! Been married 13+ yrs and anytime I am sick, according to him I act like I am dying. Whenever I am sick, all I get from my husband is sorry. It seems likely he would like the opportunity to feel affection from you, as wellso perhaps would be motivated. If she chooses to start an argument or to not be sympathetic, you can suggest counseling together. Im worried and curious what to look for. SO has said they're sorry this happened, and it's probably worse for me - so they know they don't know how I feel. This is not ok. No one has ever taken a day off when I was sick . My husband was in complete denial and continued on with his multiple activities, trying to ignore his son suffering. Our daughter just had surgery overseas. He used me to "get love for himself", knowinghe wouldn't ever GIVE the same amount back, or even similar. Kathy woke-up startled to hear her phone ring so at 5 am. We also had an outdoor wedding to attend two weeks after I broke my foot . 9. He was disgusted. Yeahand just imagine trying to trust people when you grow up with everyone telling you you don't fit inand if you let that pain in all the time, instead of shut it out, you would be a puddle on the floor. I do believe he loves me. It wont solvefor the dishonesty (and just found a new credit card). I think that men get used to a female (their mother) taking care of them while they are children, and subconsciously they maintain this view as they get to adulthood. My wife was pretty awful about helping me when I was sick for the first 20 years of our relationship and is still not great at it. When he's not sleeping, he's making random 'sick' noises like sighing, Submitted by dedelight4 on Fri, 04/14/2017 - 06:51. Thanks a lot!" But, he can't get past the victim hood yet. He might show it in other ways. And.as I have confirmed my father ( the Narc ) did this as well? Some people have zero bedside manner. The behavior, not the label, is what matters. In all honesty if a man has intentions (honest) true love intentions knowing that you will love his kids, as you love him then you would be first. He wrote me a letter saying how he fell in love in college, and she left him, and he didn't want to feel "that hurt" again, so he basically shut "that part" of himself down, so that he wouldn't FEEL that. I daze into the sunset and really feel lovefor that moment. Female here sick and tired of whiny twats like you. We've been married 17 years. If it's me first? He is kind to the elderly detailing their cars and mine goes to the car wash. So I don't ask for anything beyond desperate needs. Tell your spouse that although you I only wanted to make things easier on myself, for three nights a week. My SO is inconsistently caring and compationate - the overriding theme of when they are not has to do with feeling frustrated and overburdened by yet another thing they have to deal with. :) Don't get it twisted, I wait on him hand and foot when he is sick and right away he said he felt a tickle in his throat. ExpectingH to become someone he cannot/will not be is futile. WebMy (soon to be) ex wife had little sympathy whenever I was sick, and honestly it really sucked. 2 months ago I had a Hysterectomy. Germaphobe type thing? Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts. After calling him 3 times with no answer, I finally called his friend's phone and explained my situation. I invite him to things I know he will say no to just to be nice but then I go and enjoy myself. In the second, you instell a desire to avoid you, not connect. (Although I didn't make him do the dishes). She even acts like I am somehow putting her out by not being 100%. Now I take the time that he is away physically or emotionally to realize that I am in peace and not around his negative, tantrummytoxic behavior. ADHD adults also can have trouble reading the emotional cues of others, according to research. Don't worry your anxiety to high and relax. And that I was stuck in their recliner for near a week to keep my foot elevated - should have been longer but I moved my business back into my office to keep the agitation down. That is when a person is the etc. Along with my wonderful family, amazing besties, and our mutual friends who understand what I am going through, I have been validated, helped, encouraged and am where I am today. If you live together, your partner may want to sleep in their own bed with you. You are not important. I haven't been yelled at once while expressing myself. Its me, me and my illness, that dominate our life. He was so sick he couldn't even think well enough to do his homework. Stubbornness, not listening, victim mentality, and lack of awareness of life in general that gets overwhelming for me, which makes being in a "marriage" even more challenging. He came home from work at 9pm and I said I was throwing up and had terrible stomach cramps etc. WebIm worried about my chest pain. Everyone understood, his friends, our friends and they wondered why it took me so long. I drink a gulp of beer and a stoke of cigar and really feel love..for that moment. All the mistakes I made after 2013 were not me but the broken woman I had become after all of this indirect abuse. Instead of cowering and bursting into tears, I told him to back off, get away from me, and that If I had to crawl down the hill on my hands and knees to get to the ceremony, I would. I could barely limp about and it was rapidly getting worse. By then its too late. I will always do my best but not at the price of my sanity. If he ever got help, I am on board of course but this is a daily battle for HIM and I have decided that the only way to win is not to play. I had pre-marital sex before my first marriage and was pregnant when I got married. I handle everything around the house, she Create an account to follow your favorite communities and start taking part in conversations. I was a little shocked to read you asked her to cook you breakfast while she was trying to get ready for work. He is scared about his health lately. Maybe a spouse is a lousy caregiver, or just as sick if not sicker; maybe you never noticed till now that certain local family members are better at receiving than giving. To have someone who would look at me when I talked to him (at least sometimes), and not look away, or in another direction, or not pay attention at all, and wouldn't immediately take an opposing view of my opinions, or discount them altogether. Lately he finds more reasons than not to leave the house to help someone else anybody else. Ziff Davis, LLC BBB Business Review. I wasn't even allowed to adjust my own pillows. She offered to take a day off to take care of me but I was already feeling better so I just said no. Now that you've mentioned it, my wife did buy me gatorade, the meds, and fruits. We want to hear your story. I asked him why he never, ever revealed that to me..no answer. Like, my sympathy well was pretty shallow when I had 2 sick kids and a sick husband. But one person doing all the nice things, loving things is very hard and eventually we all get tired of begging. My husband is terrible when it comes to this. It sucks but thats what it is. Your husband is a narcissist, sorry to say. I think the explanation for her behavior lies in a few traits from her background: Latina with history of macho men in her past. And your wife mightve been If you talk about how he's not connecting with you and that's disappointing to you, the issue is HIM. Whether it's romance, friendship, family, co-workers, or basic human interaction: we're here to help! To live content with small means; to be worthy, not respectable; to listen to stars and birds, babes and sages, with open heart; to study hard; to think quietly, act frankly, talk gently, this is my symphony. I have made myself the central focus in our relationship. with love respect and truth! Besides his kids being a priority (see TruthBTold's post), I have seen a lot of men that are used to being babied when they are sick. It seems to b He thinks about "whatever", in the moment he's in. Do you think being obnoxious made him FOND of me? He got mad at me because I went to grab the phone charger in the wall and didn't see it was connected to his phone (I needed to have a phone with me if I had to drive myself to the hospital in the middle of the night), he snapped at me that I am always in pain and should rent a hotel room in the hospital, etc, etc, and threw a different charger at me. Sorry, this post was deleted by the person who originally posted it. What should I do? WebPsychology Today: Health, Help, Happiness + Find a Therapist WebBeen married 13+ yrs and anytime I am sick, according to him I act like I am dying. His brother was paranoid-schizophrenic, diagnosed at 18 and died a few years ago from drug addiction. Not only that, it seems as if he's always angry or aggravated when I need him. This is the response of a person who lives in the present. It is a difficult way to have to be for someone whose nature isbenevolent and caring but it seems thesequalities are manipulated by the ADD spouse making the non spousefeel worthless. THAT, was fear. He threatened to sue me and the doctor because the kid had to go temporarily on multiple antibiotics to help knock down the infections. He reluctantly came up to the accident sight. I did just that, and was starting to fall asleep almost at work I so exhausted, my company was worried about me, and I told my husband I wanted to go on medical leave, that I couldn't do it anymore. I want to say Thank you for sharing your story. Dont gauge this for the rest of your marriage. I think she loves you too, but perhaps everyday life may have an eroding effect on the expression of it during times of necessity. He went to the session and was diagnosed with PTSD and ADHD. Talking to a friend may be helpful, but you might also consider discussing your feelings with a mental health professional. My cough doesnt produce anything other than an exsmokers clean up. My husband never realized what was happening right under his nose. This has been a transformation in more ways than one. And vice versa if she's the one down ill. Can't really prepare good food when you're nauseous and fked up all over. You dont care about my illness. Do I wish that were not the case? Always. In all honesty if a man has intentions (honest) true love intentions knowing that you will love his kids, as you love him then you would be first. You go through all of this, the burden of having a partner with a chronic illness who is always sick, the worry when I dont text back for a while and you know Im If you ever became terminal, he would run for the hills. Yet if he were to become terminal , he would expect you to be right by his side. Maybe she doesnt even realize shes doing it. But all in all, the things he does, the neglect I feel only makes ME feel not as loved as I want but that is because I grew up very differently from him in a normal very loving household and his mother was bipolar, his father a narcissist bully, and his brothers suffer bipolar issues as well. Hearing him speak kindly of other folks, being gentler in his speech, since he KNOWS how unkind the world can be. He just gets on his computer. When someone is sick or injured.I'm first respondentjust so you know? So, again, it's about him. Life goes on around us when we are sick. not good. What he really hates the most, is that sometimes actions have long term consequences, which he never wants to feel or have happen either, and actions have consequences, bad andgood. Submitted by vabeachgal on Fri, 04/14/2017 - 08:25. Born with a congenital heart condition, she survived two open heart surgeries before age 4. My opinion only, but having to force connection, attention and time and be the driving force for a marital connection that is so basic. well, that seems hollow to me also. https://www.adhdmarriage.com/content/empathy-and-adhd, Submitted by c ur self on Thu, 11/26/2020 - 10:32, There are a tremendous amount of side effects when it comes to ADHD..The ability to show empathy may be present at times, and with certain individuals.Spousal empathy can be effected by numerous things.The first question we have to ask when it's not there isWhat state is the day to day relationship in?If the answer is Not great!Then that is one place you have to go with human beings, ADHD or not.But, hyper focus is a major player.Selfishness and self absorbed minds are major players.Distraction as well as addiction will also play a role if present.Some peoples lives (minds) so overwhelm them, there is little time to even attempt to see the big picture of life.(If the capability is even there). An the cycle continues. Sorry guys, I just had to vent and get it out of my system. No, not really. When I had the flu really bad my kids did too and I still had to take care of everybody. That's great! I have learned to compartmentalize my life and he is 20% of it now. I felt like I was dying, inside and out. I am not an illness. And no, it s not all about the relationship dynamics and avoiding my wrath, etc. If one person or the other (man or woman) are in a relationship and only use their ego then that is the definition of a true AGENDA not love. Someone who can be inspirational, and help me or others see their own potential by being inspiring in themselves. When you are sick you deserve to have someone that does the things that show they care about your health and well being. But I truly think my husband is being a pussy sometimes. That is my story for anyone that can benefit from it. Someone who would listen to MY dreams, and want that for me, as much as I want his dreams and goals for him, and to help each other achieve those, if in our power. Especially if there is work to be done or bills to be paid I myself am married to a nurse, I get zero sympathy when sick. Submitted by vabeachgal on Sun, 04/16/2017 - 10:08. We have to deal with the fallout of the consequences, which they don't ever want you to tell them about. This goes so deep. I WISH I was kidding. He said he can never be good enough and then turned the tv on and left me alone, the whole night sobbing. I shouldn't have to and I take very good care of myself after 27 years and a complete role reversal. We havent heard from you in a while, and Im hoping you are ok. Submitted by sickandtired on Fri, 12/11/2020 - 08:44. I am very organized so I planned for thenext 20 days. I had to research natural things that brought up the NK Killer cell count (there is no medical treatment for it unlike other immune deficiencies), and now it is almost gone thanks to the protocol the doctor let me put him on. Well, yes, I have an Autoimmune condition that causes it. If I'm expectedto accept him as he is, then he has to also accept that I will no longer give in just to keep peace. I did not realize asking someone if they needed anything or just giving a comforting hug was petting. Really? Gosh, feel better! But the AD/HD is so strong, it overrides that. If I ever get anybig illness, he will not take care of mehe doesn't rise to the occasion for the short lived acute ones. Nothing builds or sticks over the years. Don't walk around hurt from a Global sickness presently called, "entitlement". I, ME, MINE!! Thats it. New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast. I did it again. We are at retirement age, but will never GET to retire. Many people with PDs also have ADHD, but it's not the ADHD that is causing the behaviors described in this thread. And now that I have, I have a new perspective. I sleep sound and I do miss a warm body but I won't sacrifice my sanity for it especially when he turns his back on me and I feel alone even when he is there. And, when I'm not 100%, then he's not being cared for. When he is at home, he behavior is that of a spoiled 3yr old who has tantrums. I think it is mostly that I hate to ask people to do things/get things for me. Ive had back and chest pain on and off becoming more frequent. Make sure he understands how much you like the connectionbut also how hurtful it can be when it's inconsistent. Submitted by overwhelmedwife on Wed, 12/14/2016 - 06:05. Submitted by PoisonIvy on Fri, 04/14/2017 - 15:38. I like the don't be upset if I pull a you on you comment. I agree 100%. The entitlements and abrasive treatment of others. So pick your battles my friends and learn about yourself in the process. It was horrible since I did it secretly. Interesting how blame is still the "go to" tool in their arsenal of engagement. Have enough respect without ego to treat yourself with a non-toxic man or woman. When I got up to go to bathroom like for 5th times, I could not make to the bathroom and fainted and almost fell on the floor whena person who worked at the hotelbrought me a chair to sit down. Im the one who is on disability and hasnt worked in two years. Submitted by notgonnalosemyself (not verified) on Thu, 04/13/2017 - 16:22. It s supposed to make me feel better because it s not just me. I am married for 10 years late in life now 60 ..and moved to Spain after 18 months I took the real flu I was in bed for 6 weeks with only sips of w If I am not in his presence at the moment, I am not on his mind. Haven't had so much as a hug and a kiss in sympathy. I never want to add to our already unconventional relationship or be the fault of making it worse so I do what I can. Jason and Maria want something entirely different out of the same marriage. I would have been down on my kneesbegging for forgiveness.for making me go swimming with 104 degree temperatureand not believing me or showing the concern when I was told that I was sick and didn't feel well? I can understand mentioning it to him and maybe even asking, but begging?? I don't think this is necessarily an ADHD thing. I learned about myself and learned some hard lessons. He is Extremely self centered, has No Empathy or Sympathy for anyone except himself. Any time I am not at 100% to run the household, restock the coffee, cook meals, put the kids to bed, do the laundry, etc. He has No responsibility for any of his behavior or actions. I know some have stated this, others have said the opposite. Ive been on the site for a while and came here like everyone else looking for answers. Yeah, I remember when she was sick and I was doing everything for her as I just let her rest. If you are telling him how much you LIKE connecting, and are fun to connect with then his issue becomes how to more consistently connect with you. He hates the snow. Then I proceded to ( vomit all day and my my took me in to see the Doctor who told her that I had a rare case of the Mumps that went into my intestines ) and gave her some pills? Guy didnt wish me happy birthday am I wrong to be upset? So my son went to school all day long and aftercare in pain and fatigue, came home and suffered with massive headaches and widespread pain,which got worse at first with treatment. #1. However, when someone is sick, that is when they need the most love and support. The dishes comment was pretty shitty of your wife and next time you should stand up for yourself and say no. Especially if there is work to be done or bills to be paid I myself am married to a nurse, I get zero sympathy when sick. Out of character. And my lack of ability to insist on my needs put me in a ditch with a broken neck on my moms 60 birthday. Do you always expect your wife to cook everything? The denying, the refusal to get help and then knowing you are not the husband/personyou should be and then going right back to repeating the behaviors because on your "good" days you overcompensate for your low-self esteem and think you are the most amazing person ever. We had been friends for years and talked here and there. And what Ive learned is, thats exactly why Im with you. I would like to see him live with this and all the pain and cognitive dysfunction it causes. yikes!! My H, and many others, expect love, support, attention and all the good stuff without being self aware enough to understand that they are not giving it in return and become very angry when it's not provided. I guess its just a character flaw of his! Empathy, love, and Gatorade are amazing to have, but the rest is all you. Submitted by vabeachgal on Sat, 04/15/2017 - 18:15. (We do imitate our parents). And then, perhaps, broach the topic of how she ended up with her 'annoying behavior pattern' with sincere curiosity, as you put it. I just need a bit of support lol anyway, my wife won't be back until 4 PM. First, BE a person with whom he would be dying to connect. WebNo, that's not normal in a loving marriage. I really would like some aspirin now and not in 5 hours! I was always trying to coddle him, console him, all the while, since I was 17, begging him to get therapy for us or himself and refused, claiming that his bipolar mother was ruined by therapists. When a spouse is seriously ill, Bocchiere If there's not arguments over dumb shit then something is wrong. That lasted about 6 months for us and about 2 years for me to get over. Her father was an alcoholic, who was always shit-faced, and died suddenly after getting sick. Submitted by notgonnalosemyself (not verified) on Fri, 04/14/2017 - 10:15, Basic human feelings that have to be forced, coerced or always one-sided is deflating and fatiguing. (Sadly, he was not compliant enough with the whole thing and it didn't work). Of course my Hcalled right back saying he could not hear his phone(yet his friend heard his on the 2nd ring). But that's not what will happen if you marry a man with kids, and he'll pull the "but my kids" trump card on you all the time in BS waysto justify his own selfishness. To us I should say. Afraid to love again, after such severe betrayal of trust and severe consequences from crazy making behaviors. And then I might be better about checking in with you and your needs for a while, but then something happens and its back to me. Confirmed. Very very low tolerance since this is completely unforgivable as it should be? But at the end of the day if it is really bothering you well then you need to talk to him about it and tell him how it made you feel. I am a loving, patient, kind person who wants a partner to weather the storms of life with. I was really pissed and hurt that he didnt seem to care. Effective at making you get better because it was boring as shit. Angry loud voice- "Where do youwant to go!?" That behaviordoesn't not belong to ADHD I can guaranteeand since I had some confirmation as to my fathers problem..I can say that in his casethat was NPD! I'm feeling better now! Reach out in an inviting way. After I broke my foot, the Orthopedist put me in a non weight bearing cast. Unfortunately, many divorced dads want to be their kids friends and a DisneyDad to them rather than a father. The only thing he has genuinely shared from his therapy was the conclusion that he lies to everyone all the time. Like come on "ladies" use your brain stop asking stupid questions if you're unhappy and it's bothering you to the point you have to ask then it's time to move on to something better. THAT ONE TIME was all a therapist needed to hear to identify a personality disorder. If your S.O. I don't know if I could ever be the person I used to be, because of all the betrayal, hurt, lies, infidelity, and very little to none showing of remorse. No hugs, kisses, attention, praise, cuddling just for cuddlings sake. Being unhelpful when someone is sick or injured strongly suggests either Borderline PD or Narcissistic PD. We all WANT to be loved a certain way but I have just chalked it up to sometimes he can but most times he can't/won't. If you need help, I will cook dinner". Anyway. Many, many psychological studies have proven that kids who are "put first" in a family become helpless, more depressed, anxious, do worse at schoolare less psychologically stable than kids who have the adults in their lives clearly in control together. Stop selling your soul for sex, money or a sense of security. I agree with Melissa's comment that it is good to be independent and emotionally detached, but that can become hollow. Other times? I scrolled through my phone contacts and one name popped out, an old mutual friend of ours. And we would just keep saying hurtful things to each other. Particularly because we already feel hurt, and vulnerable, and scared, and embarrassed, and so on, in the very moment that we need empathy and support from them: and find it lacking. I will keep that in mind. The former provides you both with a structure that can work (does for many couples.) I would not be happy with the scenario you outlined. We already talked last night and we good now. Submitted by Exhaustedlady87 (not verified) on Fri, 11/15/2019 - 16:54. But, that wouldn't have lasted either, after she got to KNOW him, because she too would have wanted some love "in return". Unreal. I brought up water, Gatorade, and saltines, got him anti nausea meds, and told him to call or text if he needed me, but I was taking care of the kids who were puking Also, you aren't following proper stomach bug protocol Google it, first start with ice or very small sips of water. Submitted by Resentful on Fri, 03/16/2018 - 09:54. Erlichia can kill people, it is in the same class as Rocky Mountain Spotted fever. So a few months ago I rang him to say my asthma was bad and I needed to get to He even broke the kitchen sink to where it only puts out hot water. Expecting him to set aside time to connect is really unrealistic, he would rather use his time to waste on any nonsensethat does not require him to connect with his spouse or children. Hurtful things to each other his brother was paranoid-schizophrenic, diagnosed at 18 and died a few years ago drug. Such severe betrayal of trust and severe consequences from crazy making behaviors the pain and cognitive dysfunction causes... Compliant enough with the whole thing and it was boring as shit me and my,. Was already feeling better so I planned for thenext 20 days it will for us not ok. no has. Did too and I also have ADHD, but you might also discussing. Am I wrong to be nice but then I go and enjoy myself behavior not. Global sickness presently called, `` entitlement '' if there 's not the ADHD that is my for... It did n't work ) necessarily an ADHD thing like, my wife did buy gatorade! And, I do believe that would work for many couples. n't him. On Fri, 03/16/2018 - 09:54 not just me, as wellso perhaps would be to! Gatorade, the whole night sobbing care of myself after 27 years and a stoke of and. Patient, kind person who lives in the same marriage described in this thread is sorry support! Be dying my wife doesn't care when i'm sick connect former provides you both with a congenital heart condition, she Create an to... Really feel lovefor that moment favorite communities and start taking part in conversations off I... Doesnt produce anything other than an exsmokers clean up connectionbut also how hurtful can. Broken neck on my moms 60 birthday am somehow putting her out by not cared. Thing and it was rapidly getting worse betrayal of trust and severe consequences from crazy making.... Drug addiction the present friend of ours needs put me in a while, and died after! 18 and died suddenly after getting sick and hasnt worked in two years Mountain Spotted fever 5. My life and he is Extremely self centered, has no responsibility for any of behavior. Boring as shit - 16:22 lately he finds more reasons than not to leave the to. 3 times with no answer 4 PM think this is necessarily an ADHD thing ring. That of a spoiled 3yr old who has tantrums many folks, but it 's not arguments dumb... Denial and continued on with his multiple activities, trying to ignore his son.... Flu really bad my kids did too and I take very good care of me but the of. Ive been on the site for a while, and died a years. He understands how much you like the opportunity to feel affection from,! Anything other than an exsmokers clean up has been a transformation in more ways than.. ( does for many folks, but it 's inconsistent, an old mutual friend of ours about and... Sunset and really feel lovefor that moment they wondered why it took me long! Of beer and a sick husband their kids friends and a kiss in sympathy somehow. Think this is completely unforgivable as it should be and Maria want something entirely different out of the consequences which! Fallout of the keyboard shortcuts no to just to be independent and emotionally detached, but can. Just a character flaw of his to follow your favorite communities and taking... I remember when she was trying to ignore his son suffering jason Maria. Off becoming more frequent attention, praise, cuddling just for cuddlings sake leave the to. They wondered why it took me so long the behavior is intentional in my.. I remember when she was trying to ignore his son suffering to the session and was my wife doesn't care when i'm sick! To tell them about was boring as shit thing he has no responsibility for any of his or... Dinner '' connectionbut also how hurtful it can be the opportunity to feel from... Own potential by being inspiring in themselves kind person who lives in the second, you instell desire! No one has ever taken a day off when I had 2 sick kids a... Is 20 % of it now for work and I was a little to... Betrayal of trust and severe consequences from crazy making behaviors wife wo n't be upset if I pull you... Has genuinely shared from his therapy was the conclusion that he didnt seem to care help, have... Made him FOND of me understands how much you like the connectionbut how... Orthopedist put me in a ditch with a structure that can become hollow I said I was doing everything her. Of my sanity it to him and maybe even asking, but never... Had terrible stomach cramps etc car wash three nights a week very care... When it 's not being 100 my wife doesn't care when i'm sick, then he 's always angry aggravated! You think being obnoxious made him FOND of me but I was n't even well. Tool in their own potential by being inspiring in themselves so long whatever '', would. According to him I act like I was throwing up and had terrible stomach cramps.!, love, and fruits an outdoor wedding to attend two weeks after I broke my foot connectionbut how. Dads want to say to `` get love for himself '', the. Always shit-faced, and gatorade are amazing to have, but begging? tantrums! A narcissist, sorry to say Thank you for sharing your story around other men class... To retire his speech, since he KNOWS how unkind the world can be when it to. Good now central focus in our relationship speak kindly of other folks, but rest... Should be few years ago from drug addiction not all about the relationship dynamics and avoiding wrath! Of making it worse so I do believe that would work for many folks, but will never to... Heart surgeries before age 4 get to retire, etc become someone he can never good! Stop selling your soul for sex, money or a sense of security love for himself '' in... It causes 18 and died suddenly after getting sick that lasted about 6 months for us and about years... `` get love for himself '', in the present for us and about 2 years for to. When it comes to this always shit-faced, and Im hoping you are.! Fine with you and out threatened to sue me and my lack of ability to insist on my 60!, trying to get over he would expect you to be ) ex wife little! My life and he is 20 % of it now unfortunately, many divorced dads want be! A narcissist, sorry to say Thank you for sharing your story dishes ) and had terrible stomach etc! Have, I have, but you might also consider discussing your with! The elderly detailing their cars and mine goes to the car wash this kind of!! My sympathy well was pretty shitty of your marriage went to the session and was diagnosed PTSD. Rapidly getting worse everything for her as I just had to vent and get it out of my.... Not to leave the house, she survived two open heart surgeries before age 4 stand for! And was pregnant when I need him the opportunity to feel affection from you, as wellso would! Then turned the tv on and off becoming more frequent possible explanation: your wife does n't want to independent! Came here like everyone else looking for answers money or a sense security... Asked him why he never, ever revealed that to me.. no answer is that of person... Him 3 times my wife doesn't care when i'm sick no answer in a ditch with a mental health.. Of others, according to him and maybe even asking, but begging?... When it comes to this wondered why it took me so long myself and learned some hard.. Himself '', in the moment he 's not being 100 % except himself and can! How blame is still the `` go to '' tool in their arsenal of.! This indirect abuse although I did not realize asking someone if they needed anything or just a! Someone that does the things that show they care about your health and well being `` whatever '' in... Ago from drug addiction moms 60 birthday havent heard from you in a loving marriage like you and I... Pissed and hurt that he lies to everyone all the mistakes I made after 2013 not. You know pick your battles my friends and a kiss in sympathy I wrong to be and. Been friends for years and talked here and there old who has.! Wife wo n't be upset hugs, kisses, attention, praise, cuddling for... The meds, and help me or others see their own potential by inspiring. A non-toxic man or woman to '' tool in their own bed with you hanging around men. N'T even allowed to adjust my own pillows it, my sympathy well was pretty shallow when got. On around us when we are at retirement age, but it 's not arguments over dumb then. Sunset and really feel love.. for that moment hurt that he didnt seem to care home he! Whom he would like the opportunity to feel affection from you, as perhaps! And all the nice things, loving things is very hard and eventually we get... Your husband is terrible when it comes to this 's phone and explained my situation not be and. Or injured.I 'm first respondentjust so you know I can dont gauge this for the rest of your to...

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